Supporting Someone Who Has an Eating Disorder

Overview

When someone you care about has an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating and is in treatment, it is important that you show support. Try the following ideas.

• Show personal support.
  • Show and state how much you care.
  • Avoid the temptation to control the person.
  • Trust that they have developed their own high values, ideals, and standards.
  • Encourage self-responsibility for their actions, both successes and setbacks.
  • Offer support during times of discouragement.
• Do not urge them to eat or not eat, unless this is part of the plan for treatment.
• Avoid comparisons with other people.
• Listen to feelings.
• Do not be controlled by their behavior.
• Remember the big picture. Eating disorders happen for many different reasons. Many people who have an eating disorder come from families in which other members have eating disorders or have other conditions such as depression. This doesn't mean that a family member caused the disorder. It simply means that these conditions seem more likely to happen in that family.
• Avoid guilt and self-blame.
  • Show support. Say things such as, "I can see how hard this is for you. You're doing a good job."
  • Don't focus attention only on the person who is in treatment. Spend time with other members of your family and your friends.
  • Remind yourself that this can be a long-lasting disorder. It may take time for changes to happen.

Family therapy and counseling

Many people struggle with handling their feelings and interactions with someone who has an eating disorder. Counseling can help you learn ways to encourage healthy eating behaviors in family members or other people you are close to who have eating disorders.

Counseling can be a big help to anyone who is supporting a person with an eating disorder. This can mean seeing a counselor alone, as a couple, or as a family. Each person may need reassurance or counseling at different times during the course of the eating disorder.

• Find a professional counselor you like and trust. Talk openly and honestly. Counseling can help you cope with hard emotions or feelings that might come with supporting someone who has an eating disorder.
• Use a counselor to help you work through your concerns and reduce the eating disorder's impact on you, the person with the eating disorder, and others close to the person.
• Make time for other important people in your life. Try not to only focus on the person with the eating disorder.
• If the person with the eating disorder is a family member, try using a family therapist. This can help your family members find new ways to support each other and support the person's eating disorder recovery.